I made the “mistake” of asking God to break me over the lost.

I’m feeling it.

Slowly but surely it’s coming.  I’m grateful for it, but, it’s uncomfortable at the same time.

Suddenly, I’ve found myself praying during rehearsals for every individual around me. I look at people differently now. I’m less quick to judge and beginning to be more prone to prayer for them. I know the only difference between myself and the lost is solely that by the grace of God, He has allowed my eyes to be opened to the truth and beauty of the Gospel. I want others to experience that, which has been leading to great frustrations.

I feel helpless. I’m trying so hard not to get frustrated and angry with people who don’t believe what I believe. And, lately, I’ve been feeling very very angry towards “Christians”. I’m not sure if it’s “righteous indignation” or judgement. I have been asking God to help me not to be judgemental. I’ve been repenting of it and questioning myself and my intentions/thoughts. Gosh, it’s just SO hard. I want to shake Christians!! I want to shake them so hard. I want them to STOP turning what it means to follow Christ into easy meaningless lifestyles of following themselves. I want them to know that it’s not okay to live like the world and claim to “believe Jesus died for my sins” so, it’s all good. Guess that means you’re a Christian. COOL. ConGRATS. That’s like me saying I believe Obama is the president. It’s a fact. That means nothing.

Our minds should be that of CHRIST JESUS

What are we filling our minds with?? Why do we think that sex jokes and vulgarity and profanity are acceptable/funny?? Do you think Jesus does??

Why are racist jokes funny?? Why are we okay with abortion in some scenarios?! Why do we condone homosexuality (and, I am not against the PEOPLE, but the practice is wrong)?? Why do we sing/listen to music that is degrading and filled with vulgarity and crud??

Why are we backstabbers? Why are we okay with slandering people and talking behind their backs?? Why do we justify being rude and mean?? Why do we think it’s okay to use the names of God and Jesus lightly and jokingly??!  Why is it OKAY??

WHY ARE WE OKAY WITH BEING “GOOD PEOPLE”?? Good people is like the biggest oxymoron in the book.

There is absolutely NOTHING good in you until rebirth and the Holy Spirit lives within you. NOTHING. You are evil.

It does not matter if you go to church every day for the rest of your lives, give millions of dollars to charity, go on a mission trip, and have your Awana badges, you are evil without a regenerated heart.

1 John 2:29 “If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him.”

1 John 3:9 “No one born of god makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.”

1 John 4:7 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”

1 John 4:5 “Everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world–our faith.”

1 John 5:18 “We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him.”

These verses are not saying that once you become a follower of Christ you’ll magically never sin again. It means that you will not LIVE in sin and that you will HATE sin. You will hate sin because God hates sin and you will desire the things of God and God himself. You will hate sin because you no longer live for yourself but you live to glorify God, and God abhors sin.

So why are “Christians” okay with it? Why is it funny?

Why do we justify it when we should be on our faces, broken for our depravity before a Holy God??

I am so guilty of laughing along at the occasional “dirty joke” or whatnot, and I’ve had it. I don’t want that.

Why is that okay?

We’re supposed to be like Jesus.

Maybe you’re saying, “Shara, that’s just extreme.” or I’m “taking the Bible too literally”

Satan twisted God’s word in the garden of Eden when he was talking to Adam and Eve. The book of Deuteronomy says that you shall not take anything away or add anything to God’s word. If we pick and choose what we like or what we don’t like, or “dumb it down”, make it “fit into our comfort zones” and security, we’re going against God which makes us Satanic. Satanic.

I’m angrily rambling in a big way. I’ll end with this.

I saw this verse…

Isaiah 53:3-4  “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.”
Tears filled my eyes.
Oh, how we despise Jesus and reject him daily…hourly…every moment. He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. He died so we didn’t have to. He suffered so we’d be redeemed. He did nothing and we have done everything, and yet HE died and we have the opportunity to be reconciled to GOD. And, we DON’T CARE! Non-believers don’t care, but, what has been sickening me and grieving me deeply…Christians don’t care. Not inclusively, but, oh, how we don’t care. Oh, how we say it and don’t mean it.
We love Jesus with our minds and ourselves with our hearts.
Stop it.
Stop despising the only one worth loving.
Christianity cannot be our “religion” it HAS to be our LIFE or it means nothing.
I’m screaming inside for the church to wake up. Myself included in this.
Please never think that I am putting myself on a “Has everything figured out and is perfect” pedestal.
Ah, I don’t even know what to say. This was majorly just…get tonight off my chest. A detox, per say.
Jesus, ruin me. Ruin my desires for this world and for my selfish desires. Ruin me for the lost. Spend me, Lord Jesus. Ruin me.

One thought on “Despised.

  1. Your passion for Him and His people is palpable. Challenging. Inspiring. Threatening.* More than I have seen in some very talented and unafraid pastors; I cannot disagree, yet as my heart is tugged it also goes against so much of what I know and have seen. I think we have grown complacent and have grown unfamiliar with such fires for Christ. I’m curious to see how this develops considering how long ago this all was; it’s hard to put down.
    While legalism can be a trap, a heart for God will desire nothing less than His commands, His spirit and truth, on that subject I do sometimes wonder what to think of “Do not call something unclean if God made it clean.” Does that apply to more ‘Old Law’ (than Foods, as we now eat much of) or was it merely a metaphor for bringing Christ to the Gentiles considering Peter’s subsequent witness? When it comes to picking and choosing, as Christ did not abolish but fulfilled, how do we now live around so many minor laws? He sees the heart, and the redeemed will seek and reveal His nature in all aspects of their life despite the law, rather than because of it.
    Great, now *I’m* rambling. #overthinkingit #canthelpit #blessingandacurse

    *As the Gospel is.

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