These two fears ultimately break down into the single truth that: fear = unbelief.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
To be anxious demonstrates a lack of trust, belief, certainty that the Lord, who promises that he will graciously care for “all these things” (Matt 6:33), will provide.
Anxiety and fear (disbelief) in my life, I’ve realized, play out in two ways.
1. Fear that the Lord will not come through.
Although my heart is laced with certainty embedded in my soul by God’s grace,… my mind, pride, and sinful nature likes to throw me into fits of questioning and uncertainty. What ifs fill my mind.
Yes, the Lord has always provided for me in far abundance to what I deserve…but, what if it’s different this time?
2. Fear that the Lord will come through…in ways I didn’t want Him to.
Yes, the Lord will provide…but, maybe it’s not in the exact way I had imagined He would, even wanted him to.
Perhaps when I return from South Asia in December, the Lord will provide a job for me…but, it won’t be in Birmingham…where I want to stay.
Maybe my life won’t be the dream I had for it as a child. And I fear that.
Maybe my life won’t contain a husband and children…but, the Lord will lead me and immeasurably provide for me in other ways…and I fear that.
Maybe I’m destined for a very uncomfortable very hard life in another context or even in America…and I fear that.
Those are the two…and I find they interweave. Fear, little faith, in the Lord’s provision period…and fear that His provision will be contrary to the provision my small-pictured, self-absorbed self had in mind.
“I believe, help my unbelief!”- Mark 9:24