I have never been so confused as to what day it is before.
It seems that every day, quite frequently throughout the day, I must remind myself what day of the week it is and my responsibilities accordingly. This year is soaring by, and all my days seem to mesh together.
I’ve survived my first semester in twenty-two years (Oh, yeah, I turned twenty-two a couple of weeks ago! Heyo!) sans school. I can honestly say I do not miss school at all. Everyone said I would, but, I wasn’t the biggest fan of college as most seem to be, so, there is no missing going on.
I’m enjoying my time as a barista. I’ve learned more about coffee these past few months than I ever cared to know, made some lovely friends, sat through a 2 hour lecture on steaming milk, made hundreds of drinks, woken up many days during the 4 o’clock hour, memorized the regulars’ drink orders, and learned first hand the beauty of the phrase, “No use crying over spilled milk”. There really isn’t. I’ve had major epic milk spilling episodes, and crying will not make it all better…but, a mop will.
I played “matchmaker” for the first time in my life with two great friends. It was awesome. I think I might have a gift. They’re my new favorite couple in the world. And, I hope they hold true to their promise to let me interpretive dance at their wedding to “Arms of the Angels”/be their flower girl.
I memorized the book of Philippians. It was an awesome journey, and very rewarding. I’m ready hide more Scripture in my heart.
I leave July 19th for South Asia. I don’t think it’s truly sunk in yet. Right now, my emotions are 99% excitement. I think as it draws nearer, it might become 99% fear, but, “Has [He] not commanded [me]? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord [my] God will be with [me] wherever [I] go.” What a beautiful promise to stand on. Whether I’m here or there or wherever, God will not leave me. He will not forget about me, or pat me on the back and say, “Alrighty, good luck, Shara! Have fun in South Asia!”…No. He will be right beside me the entire time. Better yet…He’ll be INside me the entire time. And, that’s good.
“But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. ” Is. 43:1-3
A truth I have to keep preaching to myself is that, the same God who was with Abraham who promised to “make of [him] a great nation,” and to “bless [him] and make [his] name great, so that [he] [would] be a blessing”, and the same God who was with Joseph when his brothers sold him into slavery, the same God who was with Joshua as the walls of Jericho came tumbling down, the same God who was with Esther as she risked her life for her people, the same God who gave Hannah a son, the same God who was with David as he defeated Goliath, the same God being praised in the Psalms, the same God who was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace, the same God who save Daniel from the lions’ den, the same God who spoke through the prophets, the same God who sent His Son Jesus to live the life I couldn’t live and die the death I should have died, and the same God who raised Him from the dead, and the same God who who empowered the disciples to be bold and proclaim the Gospel, the same God who was with Stephen as he was martyred, the same God who blinded Saul and raised up Paul to be a forerunner of the Gospel to the Gentiles, the same God who lived inside of the early church and enabled them and empowered them to forsake all and spend their lives for the sake of the Gospel of Christ…that same God…lives in me. I didn’t get leftovers. I didn’t get a little bit of the Holy Spirit. I got all of Him.
I pray by God’s grace, He will help me live in that, and fall on my face daily in total dependence upon the Holy Spirit’s work inside of me.
Fund raising for my trip hasn’t been as easy as I wrongfully imagined it would be. I was wrong in assuming that certain people would at least give me something, and as long as that happened, I had this in the bag. You can imagine my being taken aback when 40+ letters were sent out, with maybe 10 returning. In addition, t-shirt sales were not high.
How often my little faith is placed on display before my eyes. I obviously was not truly trusting in the Lord for provision, since, after all, I had this in the bag. I had X number of family members who were bound to give me something (right?), and X number of friends and family friends and professors (some rather loaded) who would definitely give me something (right?), so, yeah, piece of cake.
Thank goodness the Lord is patient with me. The above has not happened, and I’m thankful for that. The Lord is teaching me to trust HIM, and not myself. He has blown me away with the gifts I have received, most incredibly through people I least expected to give anything…or even care! This very morning, one of the Sunday Morning small group leaders for the students, approached me and said she heard I was selling shirts to raise money for my trip and handed me a check. I might have said 5 words to this incredibly generous girl in my life. A girl I met up with ONCE almost two years ago to share YOMO and testimonies before she soon after transferred schools, sent me a check with an amount far over the cost of the t-shirt. A guy on my original World Race team (before I decided to withdraw) whom I had spoken to once for maybe 15 minutes on Facebook chat…sent me over two hundred dollars…just because.
That’s God. Not me.
To the praise of His glorious grace.
Thank you to all who have given me a cent. There are absolutely no words I can write down or say to you that can adequately express my gratitude. You are treasured.
Alrighty, this is becoming quite long. I could ramble on about other things, but, I’ll save those for another day. I’m kicking myself that I never blogged about my mission trip to Clarkston, GA, as well as other things. I’m becoming a bad blogger…not that I was ever a good one, but, I was a lot more consistent than I have been. Hopefully, I can get back on it.
May yours and my passion and zeal be for the spreading of the Gospel and the glory of His Name.
He is infinitely worthy.